IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #1
(March 2007) - no title - Cover art: Brian Denham. Script: Adam Warren. Art: Brian Denham.
I guess this is the same Iron Man/Tony Stark in the regular series. It’s getting hard to keep track of them all. Some new info about Tony… He loves ‘80s Metal! Has Marvel been doing their demographic research or what? I bet half of the current readers have a few speed metal vinyl records laying around somewhere. Now, I personally think that Tony would be listening to Hardcore Techno music rather than 80’s metal, but still… let’s face it… if Tony was going to listen to anything from the ‘80s, it would probably be Jimmy Buffet. You know, “Wasting away in Margaritaville”, “Cheeseburger in Paradise”. I think research into the Layton/Michelinie years would back me up. Isn’t that the Tony we know and love? What about disco? Tony and Rhodey were known to boogie back then.
The next thing you will notice is the tech-heavy writing. I’m starting to think the writer might actually like Tony Stark after all. We see SHIELD mouthing the same anti-Stark blather we hear at our local comic shop. Iron Man blasts everything to smithereens during a SHIELD test. Cool. Tony reminisces during the “fray”…funny bit with teen-age Tony getting busy with a high-school hotty by getting her drunk on wine-coolers! Good moves, Tony, Passion Peach flavor even… but then she turns into some crazy-dreamy-multi-lingual goth-suicide-chick! Yes! Good stuff! What the heck is happening? I don’t know… I’ll keep reading…Wait! Tony isn’t in the armor at all. He’s lamenting his alcoholism and wakes up from a dream of being killed by his Iron Man armor encasing him “Iron Maiden” style. That Suicide Chick again…now speaking French! Wait! Now SHIELD blasts Iron Man from the sky-decapitating him. But Iron Man catches his severed head and screws it back on! It was a robot, or was it? Yes we’ve seen remote controlled Iron Man before, but something different is happening here...
The story is as confusing as my review, but all together a good issue. I would say 3 repulsors plus… I couldn’t go all the way with a 4 repulsor rating, and it’s better than a half repulsor, so if I would be allowed to tack 2 speed skates to that then so be it.
Deadly Buda's Recommendation: 3 repulsors! (+ 2 speed skates!)
IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #2
(April 2007) - no title - Cover art: Brian Denham. Script: Adam Warren. Art: Brian Denham.
I read this issue twice and it was better the second time than the first. There’s a Howard the Duck reference in this issue, and we get the inside scoop on the armor’s capabilities. The artwork is pretty cool. OK...our man Tony Stark has developed Iron Man armor that will replicate practically his entire brain and upload it to the armor in case something grave happens to him. Guess what-that’s exactly what happens. Some nebulous beings emblazoned with lit-up multi-lingual fonts thrash Iron Man so severely Tony goes into critical condition inside his armor. The Iron Man suit drops comatose Tony off and flies away. But SHIELD thinks the armor has gone rogue, and why not, scores of lesser Iron Man writers have strip-mined that ploy to pink slag. But no, the damage was those font-beings and Iron Man is framed once again, and now, the only thing keeping him in this world of the living is a hobbled-together software emulation of Tony’s personality! So SHIELD is firing Stark’s latest deadly missiles at Iron Man, but that’s not all… that Suicide Goth Chick from the last issue is back, now carving threats to Tony (er… Tony Emulation Software) into her arm with an exacto-knife. Holy Crud! I’m saying 4 repulsors right now!
Deadly Buda's Recommendation: 4 repulsors!
IRON MAN: HYPERVELOCITY #3
(May 2007) - no title - Cover art: Brian Denham. Script: Adam Warren. Art: Brian Denham.
Tony’s in a coma and a cobbled together software emulation of his brain has been uploaded to the newest iteration of the Iron Man armor... which is blasting down the freeway in a pimped-out Honda on its way to an underground mecha party to figure out who blasted his meaty body to a vegetated state. You read that right friends, Iron Man is going to a rave attended by a bunch of freaking cyborgs (or mechs if you prefer)! Now you know I think that’s cool. However, one major flaw jumps out at me on page 6: Iron Man says, “I can seriously crank my mp3 list all day.”
MP3???? As great as I think Warren is at writing this story, Tony would NEVER stand for the seriously degraded sound quality of the mp3 algorithm blasting inside his armor. Any guy that can cobble together a software version of his own brain would certainly design a plug-in that would transform a regular stereo signal to a surround sound mix, at no less than 96khz without lousy compression artifacts! That’s what Marvel gets for not having rave DJs write their comics -- sheesh! I gotta deduct a repulsor right there. Anyway, Iron Man (or Tony 2.0) lets us in on a secret: Tony 1.0 has been reverse engineering his enemies’ technology to add to the Iron Man technology! Wow! This revelation is right up there with issue #118 when we saw a whole room full of Iron Man variants! Meanwhile, SHIELD is still trying destroy Iron Man because they think he’s gone rogue, and Major Aramaki, who’s in charge of this operation, is hopped up on all kind of weird experimental drugs.
Mid route to the rave, IM’s repulsor fires all by itself. You guessed it, that crazy suicide goth chick is back! Her name is Absynthe, and she’s a computer virus bent on erasing Tony 2.0 from the armor and taking it over herself. At least, that’s what she says. IM runs some anti-viral software and momentarily dismisses her. He makes it to the mecha rave where he figures he’ll get the intel he needs to figure this mess out… but the mecha party is a trap laid by Absynthe!
Deadly Buda's Recommendation: 4 repulsors!
